No. 9

it would've been nice to say,

i knew you.



i wanted to write you a letter,

listing all the faults i found in your story.

instead i chose to leave this.



i am infuriated at myself,

i was foolish enough to think i knew you

as more then just a lover.



i entered into this partnership knowing

just how much damage control i would require.

i am to blame for the advantage i have given you.



it would've been nice to say,

i knew you.



however i was among the many lucky ones

who only ever felt you.

a sad condition of our agreement.


even if i could remove

all the things you put me thorugh,

nothing would change

if we began again.


it would've been nice to say,

i knew you.

No. 8

sad and painful excuses for when your alone and wilting.

give my regards to your broken-heart,
im rather sorry for the damage i caused.
maybe a little tape,and some glue can fix it up.
needle and thread?
ive got it all.

many apologies for that bitter taste i left in your mouth.
i didnt know saying my name,
would cause such a terrible sensation.

what else can i say?
what little comfort can i give?
can i offer?

what else can i do?
what words can i say other then,
are you okay?
or,
how does that make you feel?

i know how you feel.
that bitter taste started with me afterall.
and that broken-heart?
well i know how to mend it as ive been there before.

so well wishes to your tarnished ideas.
and farewell to those faded ill-treated memories.
that pain i had caused,
and those times i made you bleed.
all worth while as you say your goodbyes to me.

No. 7

seeing her face everywhere
its so unsettling.
i try not to react
i try not to care
but i just cant stand it.

the image of your wrestling bodies
bonding at the flesh.
burned into the back of my mind
not real i know but i cant forget.

seeing those words
i just wasnt prepared.
the way you meant them to be understood
was not how they were read.

the image of your wrestling bodies
bonding at the flesh.
knowing i could have been her
it makes me feel second best.

No. 6

sweetie,
dont flatter yourself as much as to even consider
i would care enough about you,
as to write about you.

that prize remains one of many
luxuries you will never have the pleasure
of obtaining.

reason being as your vanity is already
over exceeding normal expectations for someone
of your (little) importance.

we wouldnt want to plant false ideas into your not so pretty little head,
would we now?
false ideas of high value and any concern for you

No. 5

Mistakes.

This is the end.
Of nothing more but a conquest.
Please dont try to dress this up,
To be anything more then it was.
This is the end.
Of another broken record.
Hopefully your mind will stop,
Returning to my door.

I never meant for things to end out this way.
I swear i never meant for it to feel like this.

No. 4

there is only one side to our story.

how can you look at me the way you
when we are strangers sleeping in the same bed.
why do you continue to defeat and deflate me
when you've already found comfort in another.

trying to keep out the cold with blankets of lies
its no surprise i dont recognise
you anymore.

you are no longer a source of my frustration
but a source of my pity.
with our seperate lives and seperate lovers
we have never had so much in common.

2 + 2 makes 4

blustering through my exanimate dreams,
you only ever needed that smile.
at once i had become amorous of you.

enthralled by your many eccentricities,
i was left pervious to your many misconstrued instructions on how to adore you to utter devotion.

my mind was obsolete, opinionless.
though my fascination of your being left little time for all else,
i was happy to follow in your lead.

pugnacious towards anyone who questioned our love
or your intentions.
further questions were source of deleterious consequence.

benignant to only you
your departure was an unwelcomed source
of new illness.

presented with no choice but that of self devastation.
my infatuation of you thrusted me onto this position.
only further propositions from you could cure me.

No. 2

your skin a bones of a nervous wreck.

your only gift is emotional devastation.
i can only count on you to ever disappoint.
to hope for more
or any less
would only cause further distress.

silent but strong,
im playing that card.
but your noticing nothing again.

you provide nothing that can prove this relationship will be at any point beneficial for either party.
would you like to continue pretending its ok?
can you really believe years of neglect can be washed away with your plain words.
i will never come clean of this.

you severed your paternal bonds long ago.
its too late to repair them.
they could've never meant much to you in the first place.
if they did, we wouldnt be here.

this is your fault.
i will not take blame for your mistakes.

No. 1

adoration
a fixation
ive got you in my head
with the best of malicious intentions
ill be in your room in ten
dont even try to just give upon this addiction
destroy yourself
its an act of love and your dedication