I know she knows.

i'm in the market for some inspiration,
i keeping wearing the same situations,
not even new words
could hide the truth from you this time.

i like to mock her.
and her whole formula, but
i know i'm just a little jealous
of her vocal talent.
not even new words could disguise
the truth that's in my eyes.

so im going to pack my bags,
run away. do anything it takes
to hear you say those words
because we both know im too vain.

oh; rob me.

the line has been blurred.
i keep finding myself in less than perfect positions
with familiar comfort all the same.
i was had from the first moments shared
and you will still find me enamored.
we could be hero's and save ourselves from the agony,
but we always found it so becoming.

i can't look at you anymore.
i can't look at you the way i did,
the way i used to see you and i don't know any other way to look at you.
this courtship of ours is little more than an itch
causing gaping holes in the foundations of an otherwise perfect alliance.

you never wore grace well,
you always seemed to find a way to replace it with desperation.
they say distance makes the heart grow fonder,
maybe our proximity has something to say for our constant failures.

i can't talk to you anymore.
i can't talk to you the way i once did,
the way we used to talk things over.
this vacation of ours, from all things normal
is leaving increasing room for doubt.

throw back your blues.

Well i think its time that we had that talk,
get your talons ready.
And i think its time i see you walk that walk, away.
Am i correct in my understanding?
I'm malicious at best,
your self second guessing,
every bite that i take,
my teeth seconds from breaking.
Consuming every word that you breath -
not much room does my stomach leave me. (now to heave)
And i think its time that i cut the noose,
face on the floor, are you feeling heavy?
Do you think its time for me to obtrude?
- with my talons ready.
You're vague when at best,
my self second guessing,
with all i do best, i try to express
that, i think its time you were removed
and replaced with some pills and some cold therapy.
I think its time that you were removed,
cause purple and blue was all you left me.

wide awake

this is midnight.
the place i spend most of time.
between the restless sheets
and the dawning of the days.

this is welcome.
broken words and quick fixes.
i've got it all
every catch for when you fall.

and i've come to realise,
maybe even come to believe,
that you are not the worst thing
that could happen to me.
i could fall down a well,
bleed to death and break both of my knees.
an idea only welcome,
if you commit to me.

the beginnings of 'my picture perfect imagination'

picture perfect.
is everything i've hoped for.

(what else can i hope for?)

at a loss for words;
...another time
...another day
a little less than a little vague.

another choice of red or blue -
despair.

you enter my mind,
and cut like a knife.
(left hung out to dry,
and twisting in the wind.)

battered and bruised.
disgustingly guilty.

your a lie that wont wash off,
i'm a stain that wont come clean,

(i wont come clean.)

yes there's blood on my hands,
and our lies they wont come clean,

(i wont come clean.)

you, the clinically proven relief.
for my manic,
for my pain.

you are my nights shadow,
my picture perfect shadow.

No. 16

picture perfect.
you are everything i've hoped for.
(what else can i hope for?)
at loss for words;
...another time
...another day
a little less than a little vague.
"where have you been
keeping these secrets from me.
i'm here a promise
guiding free
through the night i have seen."
you are a clinically proven relief
for my pain.
another choice of red or blue
despair.
you are my shadow,
my picture perfect shadow.

No. 15

this is for matt.
if you could see her now i know this is what you would think.


sitting here cold
quietly wishing
for a stolen glance
or to know what your thinking
a brush of your skin
a hint of a smile
another circumstance
and maybe i wouldnt be so shy

sitting here alone
feeling ridiculous
you wont notice me
so why am i thinking
of all the things we could be doing
and all the ways we'd do them
another chance or circumstance
but it would never happen

still i am sitting here
still i am waiting
i know the second time you came down
would be the last tonight
i tried my best to impress you
i tried to be witty
but clearly i had fallen short
and all i had left was goodnight